Today, I literally shit my pants.
David Cross does a great bit about the misuse of "literally" where a guy is talking about laughing so hard "that he literally shit his pants." "What did you do with your pants? - I didn't actually shit my pants. ..." It's pretty damn funny, but it's even funnier when you actually, literally, really shit your pants.
I was meeting my friend for coffee when it went down. Fortunately my apartment is steps away from the coffee shop. I immediately turned around and started walking back to my apartment to get some new pants and started laughing to myself. By the time I was in the bathroom for a quick lower-half shower I was laughing out loud. As I walked back to the coffee shop I was laughing and crying so much that I thought my neighbors would be concerned if they saw me. When I tried to tell my friends what happened it took me about five minutes to be able to speak without uncontrollable laughter prohibiting all of my speech functions. It was awesome.
The funny thing here (and mind you, it's not ironic) is that the cause and effect seem to be reversible. The pants-shitting induces laughter as strongly as laughter allegedly causes pants-shitting.
"Dude, I shat my pants so hard I literally laughed out loud!"