Friday, July 27, 2007

Coolest Dolls Ever

These dolls look like they kick a lot of ass.
They are called P31 Dolls - short for Proverbs 31. They are supposed to be based on Biblical principles and to be Christian alternatives to toys like Bratz (which are probably more fun, but I don't know.) You can read Proverbs 31 if you want but I'll just tell you that the best passage is vss 6-7 "Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more." The rest is about a guy daydreaming about the ideal wife. I think it says something about working in the kitchen because the P31 dolls come with cookie cutters and cookie recipes. Sweet. (I mean that.)

Guys, don't feel left out. Most of their stuff (just like the bible) is for you. One of the coolest is Noah. He was the most righteous person on the planet before God destroyed every living thing on it. He was so righteous that he got hammered on wine and then got naked in his tent. When his son came in and accidently saw him naked, Noah got pissed and put a curse on that son's son, Canaan. Canaan was cursed to be a servant of his uncles after that because his dad accidently saw his grandpa naked. Wacky. The only righteous man on Earth.

They have other cool stuff too. They're sure to have your favorite Bible character. Unless that character, like mine, is Balaam's talking ass. (Numbers 22:28) But, it's pretty much just all talk from somebody's ass anyway.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Jesus Camp Trailer

This is supposed to go in the previous post. I'll get it eventually.

Jesus vs Muhammad vs Harry Potter vs Frodo

So I was working in the 'hood this morning - actually in a neighborhood dominated by Sudanese, Somali, and Ethiopian refugees.  There are lots of Muslims in the area walking by with their Qur'an in hand, and then I hear a group of kids singing.  They are doing the thing that I only know as the "jihad yodel."  (Someone can probably school me on sacred Muslim music, and someone might want to try to school me on religious sensitivity.)  But, it kind of freaked me out to hear those kids screaming like that.  My only impression is of suicide bombers in training.

Then I remembered some of the songs I sang in Sunday school.  One of my favorites was something like "I'm in the Lord's Army."  "...Riding in the cavalry/flying over the enemy/shooting the artillery./Yes, I'm in the Lord's Army!"  I loved it because we could do all the "motions" that went along with it: flying over the enemy, shooting the artillery, etc.  It seems totally fucked up to me now.  Why do you want your kids to go to church and sing about shooting people?

So, now I remember the movie, Jesus Camp.

Get it and watch it. It is unreal.

I won't go into it all, but it made me remember something from the film that has always pissed me off. I think it's Becky Fischer or maybe one of the moms talking about how Harry Potter is evil because it talks about witchcraft and wizardry and etc. The directors must have got the shot on purpose, but on the coffee table is one of the LOTR books. I have wondered at this phenomenon for years. Why do the Christians condemn JK Rowling's books (to the point of book burnings), while they just love JRR Tolkien and his brand of wizardry and sorcery!? It's ridiculous. Is it because she is a "nonbeliever" herself and Tolkien was a Roman Catholic? The fundies don't even think the Catholics are true Christians! Is it because she was a single mom and he was an upstanding, (married) professor? I don't know. I won't geek out on Tolkien, but his books are not about Christianity, and they do include wizards (good ones and bad ones) and there's all kinds of (good and bad) magic going on. I just don't get it. What is the bfd with Harry Potter for these people?

So, anyway the Deathly Hallows has been out for about 15 hours and I still haven't picked up my copy, so I guess I'll go do that now. My friend was already done yesterday and said it was the best of the series. Read it, read Tolkien, imagine Gandalf vs Dumbledore - or Frodo vs Harry - (whatever you're in to) and tell a fundamental Christian how much better either one of them is than the old and new testaments combined. (Tell them the Qur'an is better too, even though it's just as wacky.)

Thursday, July 19, 2007

It looks like Michael Reardon is gone. He was famous for his free solo climbing of routes at Joshua Tree, Tahquitz and in the Sierras. He routinely climbed at a high level of difficulty with out any backup system in case of a fall, so it didn't surprise me when I heard the news. But, he didn't die in a fall; he was pulled out into the Atlantic by a huge wave in Ireland. Weird.

I met him once out at Tahquitz in Idyllwild, but didn't recognize him. We just said "hi" to each other on the trail like any other climbers would. Then later I read that that day he had free soloed The Vampire. I would be feeling pretty badass to get up The Vampire with any number of ropes and/or partners. Michael did it with just a pair of climbing shoes and a chalk bag. It kind of makes my guts drop into my shoes just thinking about.

He leaves a wife and teenage daughter behind which is, of course, tragic.  He also leaves the climbing community with one less character who exemplifies the incredible mental focus and love for the physical challenge that drew us all to the sport and keeps us climbing still.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Theology Minute

So, if you're not interested at all in Biblical fundamentalism, then skip this post and go check out something a little different like this.  You probably should be interested, though because, depending on your perspective, either bunches of your pals are going to burn for ever in hell, or crazy people are in the process of trying to indoctrinate your children with their superstitions and teaching them to ignore rational thought and avoid critical thinking.

Anyway, my issue today is this whole "original sin" thing that is crucial for all of Christianity.  The story is something like "Adam and Eve were created without knowledge of good and evil.  They were commanded by God not to eat some fruit that would make them know good from evil.  They ate it anyway and now they know good from evil."  This is called the original sin.  Now, how could they have sinned if they didn't know good from evil before they ate the fruit?  Either they didn't know it was wrong, so they didn't sin or if they did sin, then they must have known it was wrong.  It doesn't make any sense.  I've heard some apologists try to explain this with some elaborate mental gymnastics, but it still doesn't make sense.  Feel free to give it a shot though.  Seriously.

The supposed repercussions of the o-sin are guys having to dig in the dirt and girls having excruciating pain in childbirth.  Thanks alot for that, God.  So christian men, if you were thinking of picking up dinner on the way home from work, maybe you should pick up a shovel and get to work in those fields instead.  You've got to stay right with the Lord.  And, ladies.  Epidural...?  I don't know if that would be in God's will for you.  Better go natural to be safe.

Oh.  And check out Van Der Goes' painting.  Silly artist didn't know Adam and Eve didn't have bellybuttons.

Monday, July 16, 2007

My First Blog Post

I thought I'd start my blogging career with a nice product recommendation for everyone.  Nicorette gum is fantastic.  It is great if you are trying to quit smoking, but if you smoke and don't plan on quitting, get some anyway.  Chew up a piece a little bit, park it in your gum, then light a Camel filter or your cigarette of choice.  It's great.  It's kind of like you first smoke.  You get pretty high from that shit.  If you don't smoke, get some anyway.  You might achieve the relaxed attitude and efficient work habits of a traditional nicotine addict, but can maintain your hot-aught non-smoking iImage.  I have been using it to quit smoking (no smokey treats since last Wednesday.)  So far, so good.  We'll see how things go when I start reading posts over at Evangelical Right, which I love/hate to do.  Wish me luck.  Buy some Nicorette.  Read something.